HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize