it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
