I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
