He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
