College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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