If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize