The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize