I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
