Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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