ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
