We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
