you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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