If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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