At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
