So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
FUCK WHALES
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