woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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