I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
