This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
