I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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