Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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