Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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