I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
