Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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