So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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