Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
