I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
