So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
