We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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