I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize