hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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