Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
