Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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