People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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