all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
