wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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