Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
