Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
