She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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