hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
