Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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