what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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