You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
