I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
