Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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