I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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