Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize