census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize