He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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