Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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