At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize