he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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