Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's shark week go big or go home
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
