My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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