Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize