Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
