man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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