Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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