What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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