I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
