Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
